Film: 2345

Feature Drama | 1920 | Silent | B/W

Clip:

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Synopsis:

Husband kisses the maid who drops the china . Wife scolds the maid . Husband drinks then goes to bed . Maid thinks the china moves about. Maid shrinks and is taken into the garden by the china . Tied to the stake with matches . He is dreaming and kisses maid. Wife attacks him.

Titles. 'A Q-riosity by Q' ' Hubby always falls for his wife's domestics!' A maid in a white apron and white cap and black dress walks into a dining room with a tray, the man of the house hides behind the buffet china cabinet, he rubs his hands together when he sees the maid, he beats his heart, blows kisses and sneaks up behind her, he throws his arms about her and, of course, she drops the tray and all the china smashes, they both look at it in horror, the man runs from the rooms, a very very large woman comes in, she sees the china broken on the floor. ' If I stopped your wages to pay for all the china you break, you would be in debt every week! One more accident and you go!'. The mistress saunters out of the room, the maid looks chagrined, the husband sneaks back into the room past his wife, he talks to the girl and she starts wagging her finger at him, she backs him out of the room and shuts the door on him, she stomps back into the room, kicks the china and pulls a chair over, drops down into it and takes up a magazine. ' One of those 'strong silent men' who bottle their grief!' The husband in his pyjamas beside his bed holds up a full glass of whisky, a bottle stands on his beside table, he takes a gulp, after many heart beatings, then hears something and puts the stopper on the bottle, replaces it with a water jug and hides the bottle under the bed as he slips between the covers and pretends to sleep. The maid reads her magazine, her hair is quite frazzled, evidently something has struck her in the magazine or it is an exciting story. The man tosses in his bed. The maid, her cap hanging to one side, smiles in pleasure as she puts down her magazine, but then looks horrified as she sees the china again. The broken and shattered china on the carpet, then magically, the plates put themselves back together and the tray wanders off, ( supposedly being put away). The maid gasps in horror. The man sits bolt up right in bed and puts his hand to his ear, having heard his lady' scream. The maid is driven to distraction, pulling her cap from her head. The dishes roll away one by one across the carpet. The egg cups grow legs and one of the mugs as well, one egg cup walks over to the mug and the other egg cup and them gesture together, the mug gives the second egg cup a kick. The maid screams hysterically. The husband sits on the end of the bed, he legs shake uncontrollably as he hears another scream, he gets up and walks shakily away from the bed. The pepper mill gets up and grows arms and legs, it dances on the side board. ' O careless domestic, my bent and broken people call aloud for justice. Call for your lover in vain!' The pepper mill jumps up, swings on of the china teacups around and grabs the seltzer bottle, spraying out a shot, The maid gets doused on the head. The husband creeps up to the door, he feels it, puts his ear to it and gently places his hands on the door handle. The mugs walks over to he door and bolts the bottom floor bolt into place, locking the man out. The man pushes and bangs on the door, then gives up and peeps through the keyhole. The maid has shrunk down to teacup size and , waving her arms and screaming wildly, falls off her chair. She lands in between the two egg cups, one picks her up and they pull her off. The man outside the door waves his arms in despair. The egg cups drag the maid out the door, hoping down the small step. The man seems to have gotten an idea, he runs off in the other direction. The plates and broken saucers roll along the uneven ground. The egg cup leads the way with a banner, the pepper mill is right behind and the other egg cup carries a marching baton, another egg cup and the mug, carrying a hammer, follow with the girl. The man runs out his front door in his pyjamas and then around the corner of his house. The egg cup drags the girl across a narrow plank over a garden pool? ' Crewshun- the King's jester, the cup that cheers.' The mug does somersaults and a tightrope walk across the plank, actually it is the sugar bowl, it uses its lid as a hat. The man runs through a hedgy garden, looking along the ground. The chins pulls the girl forward, but she digs her heels in. The husband struggles against the china at his feet. His hand bends down and grabs the girl. The egg cups and mug shake their fists at them and then run after them. The man , looking behind him constantly, runs with the girl in his hand through the garden. The china set up a trip rope for the husband. 'Poor Hubby didn't Twig that Twig!' The man does a face plant on the grass. The mug and egg cups shake their fist a the prostrate man, the mug kicks him in the ear, they try to drag the girl up but she is unconscious, so they pick her up on a stretcher. The sugar bowl juggles some berries to entertain the other china dishes. The man slowly gets up, he looks around for the girl but not seeing her hobbles off back the way he came. The china court. The man turns a corner, and gasps. The dishes behave cruelly to the girl kicking so she kneels down. The mug hammers the man in the foot. A small smouldering fire in the grass. The man gasps and runs, he falls to his knees in the grass.' Deep down in the bowels of the earth …where the strongest heart of man would turn pale.. Helpless and alone with the savage Tin Folk.' The man looks through a small hole. The girl is tied to a stake, the salt shaker makes his case against her in front of the king of the dishes. ' You have left many of my subjects to burn to death. Now you shall know the tortures of fire!' al the dishes bow, they are surrounded by large tin pots and cauldrons, all manner of dishes. A match box comes forward and makes a pyre of matches. The tin funnel sets light to it. The fire burns. The husband yells 'No! into the hole. He stands up and looks around, he grasps an old shovel and starts digging. The girl is before the fire, at the stake, she look like she is about to pass out. The man sticks his hand down the hole, his arm comes into the court reaching for the girl. The man suddenly wakes up in bed, the maid shaking him awake. 'Thank Heaven! I was in time!' He wraps his arms around the girl, she cringes back from him. The wife walks in the door her hair in curlers, and throws her hands in the air at what she sees. SH sends the maid out of the room and turns on her husband. 'You….WORM!' The man cringes before her she throws him onto the bed by his pyjama lapels and rolls up her sleeves. A nose, eyes and moustache in a 'Q' the end.


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