Film: 2902

Feature Comedy | 1920 | Silent | B/W

Synopsis:

Man apparently ill in bed - but caption tells us he enjoys the worst of health. He smiles and talks happily. He has a pad attached to his head and holds a thermometer. His wife thinks him lazy. She throws a load of medical books (?) off the bed and starts to peel eiderdowns off her husband in bed. Good gag. In between the bed covers are several hot water bottles. She orders her husband out of bed. He has large socks on with electric wires attached.
Out of doors a workman is putting the finishing touches to a section of concrete driveway. He is smoothing off some setting concrete. Ten or 15 ducks waddle along. They walk straight through the wet cement and leave footprints. Man looks shocked and upset. He looks after the ducks with his hands on his hips.
In breakfast room, man enters and approaches table as maid leaves room. He sits down and puts two bottles of medicine on table. He reaches into his waistcoat and places two more phials on table. He places a drop of medicine in a glass and reads something of interest in the newspaper. His wife looks put out. Man walks off holding paper. He excitedly points out something in the newspaper to his wife. This is a fire sale of medicines. She beckons him with her finger and pleads with him to kiss her. She puckers up. He shakes his head and waves his hand 'No'. She is angry and upset and puts her napkin on the table. He walks through hall putting his overcoat on.
A dapper man wearing plus fours getting out of an open-topped car. Husband is concerned as friend of family approaches his wife and good naturedly leads wife off to house with arm round her shoulder. He walks off but doesn't notice wet cement and trips and dances through the cement on the driveway. He says sorry, but workman is not impressed. Man outside drug store in a violent rainstorm. Nside, the shop assistant pours shovelfuls of medicine into a paper bag, but our man indicates he would like the bucket load. He is told not to get the seltzer wet, or it will fizz everywhere. Man leaves chemist's with big bundle plus 10 to 15 small bundles wrapped in brown paper. At exit to drug store man talks to a mad man - 'Mr. Goofy'. Water pours on his head. Other man claims he is a nurse and is hired on the spot. He two get into a taxi. The car stalls and whilst the driver is trying to crank start the car, water pours into the cab with the two men in. The bag of seltzer is broken and as the water level rises, it effervesces everywhere. A huge amount of bubbles is produced. The men climb out of the window to escape and walk off without the taxi driver noticing.
The two men approach the driveway of man's house and tramp through wet cement. Workman throws his smoothing tools down and walks off. He rants and raves and rages and throws his arms in the air. He holds his arms Heavenwards. In the house the two men start to walk upstairs. The wife stops them and complains to the husband. He sneezes. Nutty man takes his hat off and water pours over his head. He introduces himself. She mouths 'Who's that' and points at him. The two men rush upstairs. Family friend asks wife what is going on. Upstirs the male 'nurse' helps man unload his medicine. Man starts unbutooning his coat whilst nearly sneezing. Wife talks on telephone to other man, who picks up Gladstone Bag from desk and walks off. At driveway entrance he jumps over wet cement. Workman so pleased and impressed he shakes the doctor by the hand, and pats him on the shoulder with a filthy hand. Doctor annoyed and pushes man flat on his back into the wet concrete, as he dusts himself off.
Two men in bedroom roll around linked together like tumblers. The patient ends up on bed, nurse hauls his shirt up and pulls three sticky medicinal pads off man's back. In the hallway, the doctor talks to both the wife and family friend. In bedroom, male nurse takes a small glass phial off a rack resting on man in bed and pours tablets or pills down man's throat. Patient nods his thanks and approval. Nurse tries a phial of pills for himself. Doctor, wife and friend walk upstairs. Patient and nurse eat pills. Nurse sees something off set and dives under a table with a tablecloth hanging down from it. Doctor approaches bed and rejects proffered hand shake. He tests man's pulse, he listens to man's heart, looks at his tongue and eye. Patient looks concerned. Doctor shakes his head and says man won't last four hours. Wife is shocked, friend sits down. Wife is comforted by friend. She collapses on him and he consoles her. Husband in bed gesticulates but is restrained by doctor who wags his finger at him. The doctor proffers his hand in goodbye. Wife leans crying with man's arms around her. Outside the room, the three of them stop and laugh. Patient is obviously not ill reall, and they are trying to scare him out of his lethargy. They escort a lawyer in who asks patient to sign a will. Friend takes will and escorts wife from room. Doctor and lawyer shake hands over the man in bed. Doctor escorts lawyer out of room. Husband tries to get up, but nurse stops him. Undertaker in tall hat and assistant with gravedigger's spade and pick-axe enter room. Undertaker measures husband. Gravedigger puts tools on bed. Undertaker or funeral director talks consolingly to patient in bed. Undertaker shakes man's hand. Men leave. Door opens and wife stands all in black, smiling at husband. She enters and models her new black mourning clothes. He pleads with her. Friend enters wearing an obviously too short suit. He is wearing the 'dead man's clothes'. The trousers and sleeves are too short and he pulls at them. Husband leaps from bed to attack friend. Nurse joins in. Husband punches down nurse and chases his friend downstairs and through room and into garden. Doctor enters bedroom, points and accuses nurse who dives headlong through the first floor window. He stands behind a bush in the garden and stands rubbing his head. He does a roll and runs off. Doctor tells wife to make a telephone call. She does. She runs into garden. She runs into man in garden and doeas somersault. She is helped up. Two cops run along sidewalk. They and the lunatic fall in the wet cement. Doctor points the way for the arrested man. Workman jumps in cement. Husband helps wife up.


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