Feature Comedy | 1920 | Sound | B/W
Mack Sennett, Starring Eddie Quillian and Madeline Hurlock. The Keystone Cops.
Keystone Cops travel in open patrol wagon. Police chief and his fiancee ride in back. Driver wears monocle. Co-driver falls asleep on driver's shoulder. Driver wakes him up with horn. Keystone Cops attempt to form guard of honour but fall down sairs before lining up. Form an arch with their trucheons. One cop stands on a packing case but falls off. Couple walk under truncheons, stop, he kisses her hand. Cop falls off packing case on top of police chief. Fiancee takes his proffered arm. Plate on wall of station of first police chief, looking solemn. Cop takes sealed letter out of his sleeve, sniffs it, and it smells good. Attempts to pass letter to police chief around back of fiancee. Cops behind try to guide their fumbling hands with trucheon, but only succeed in ramming her backside. She turns around. They look innocent. Cop puts letter in her hat and chief gets it. Close up of derogatory letter signed 'Mazie'. Cops ushered by pseudo photographer for their picture. 'Desperate Dan' eyes the safe. Flashgun goes off, screen fills with smoke. When it clears, photographer has gone and safe is open. Cops look very surprised. Chief tiptoes to safe. Card left on safe. 'Compliments of Desperate Dan', he reads it out aloud. They are all taken aback.
Open car drives straight at camera, filmed from back of other car which moves off. Driver is a woman. She is speeding. Motocycle cop up against billboard chases after her. He flags her down, but she drives on. Keystone cop tries to cross road, she goes by very quickly and he back peddles into a puddle. Gets out and jumps in air. Car stops suddenly. Motorcyclist slides off by side of car. Cop gets up dazed. Takes notebook out. Runs to car with pencil in mouth. Dirty cop pushes him out the way and gets in the passenger seat. They drive off. Motorcycle cop runs off screen. Dirty cop brushes himself down and creates a lot of dust as driving along. She wipes her face with handkerchief. Police chief sits in judgment in court. Sentences very ugly woman. He is taken aback. He bangs his fist. His fiancee is sitting next to him. Police chief whispers to Mazie "Remember to Forget me", she smiles. Chief hits cop on head three times because he arrested Mazie. Cop wilts. Chief smiles at fiancee, he will question lady in private. As chief and woman enter his office, all the cops look, he turns round quickly and they sit upright against the wall quickly. Fiancee whispers to motocycle cop. He nods. Chief and lady (in fur) leave his office, cops sit back against wall. Cop slides to floor and chief falls over him. He gets up and feels his nose. Fiancee does not look pleased. Chief swallows deeply.
Fiancee looks surprised. Woman walks on pavement, barrel rolls after her. She stops and adjusts garter. Barrel hits her legs and she falls backwards over it. She kicks her legs in the air. She extricates it, and gets up. She kicks barrel. Close up of her foot going into hole in barrel. She walks off. Obviously disguised man gets out of barrel (motocycle cop), wears hat, has beard and black eye. Attemps to open black eye. Man sticks head round gate post. Has long hair over face, pulls some aside so can spy. Mazie stops police chief in car. Gets into car. Disguised cop climbs on front of car, hidden from view to spy on them. Car drives off. Couple talk. Cop tries to listen and takes notes. Gets out stethoscope and listens to radiator. Puts end of stethoscope in radiator, face shows that he gets some very strange noises. Steam comes out of ears and he pulls the ends out of ears. Looks closely at stethoscope, gets a face full of steam. Car stops just short of a fire hydrant from which a jet of water is spraying across the street. Car rolls forward slowly towards jet. See man perched on front of car through water jet, still dry. Chief puts hand brake on. Man gets water in face. Girl gets out of car. Chief indicates she shoud be quiet, puts finger to lips. Car crashes into back of car and shunts it forward into jet of water.
Man knocked off front of car. Chief and woman hug. Wet man spits mouthful of water out. He spies chief and woman and runs off. Woman drags him into her car, he sits down quickly and sray of water goes over them both. At station cops are drumming their feet. Phone rings, chief answers it by listerining to the gavel, then picks up phone properly. Other man uses phone. Cops and photographers run out. Cops pile into police patrol wagon. Large one does not get in, but grabs legs of other cop. He stretches his legs. Cop jumps off wagon onto fat cop. Photographer with tripod gets in back of car, it drives off and chases cops. Wagon overloaded with cops. Swerves down road, other car makes it veer into telegraph post. Cops fall off. Other driver laughs. Cops get car going. One rubs back on post and chases after them, jumps in air. Car loses cops, and one cop holds both cars at same time. Steering wheel comes off and car swerves even more. Car slips on water. Chief holds steering wheel out of car. Wagon slides on water, cops fall off. Car stops, engine pumps out steam from radiator and bonnet lid lifts repeatedly. Man and woman hug looking frightened. Cops charge into house being filmed by cameraman with tripod. Chief strikes man on arm for pinching his fiancee. Other woman consoles man.
Chief is heartbroken, and gives man (cycle cop in disguise) his revolver who puts it to chief's head. People walk away and chief is left holding gun. He puts gun in his belt. Melodrammatically rests head on hand on table. Other cop enters and salutes. Chief gives cop his gun and asks him to shoot him. Cop shoots but misses. Chief jumps in air. Cop chases chief around room, firing at him. They jump over settee, chief sticks head through window. Cop thinks he has shot chief and throws gun down. Mourns chief and hauls him in only to find clothes are empty. Chief runs along street in underclothes / nightshirt. Catches motocycle cop who has girl on his crossbar. Turns and runs other way.
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